First of all, the word nudity is just fucking stupid. It is a thinly veiled attempt to make a word safe for the entire family. Pointless and most of all annoying because words should be used at their very core meaning and not painted over with a sense of safety and sensibility. From now on and forever more the word is *NAKED. Yep, bare ass fucking naked. A word with some meaning behind it and with multiple meanings sort of like the word fuck.

The question at the heart of this rant is why does the United States have such a negative view of being naked, seeing others naked, and talking about being naked. There is no grey area and it seems people go from conceiving a kid, in the dark, with eyes closed, while only partially naked to flat out in your face demeaning pointless stupid fucking pornography? Try this as an experiment, tell somebody you are going to Orvis Hot Springs and that you will be exercising your right to be clothing optional. Yep, once again, here comes the word…naked. Now that the words are out of your mouth watch the recipients face. They will likely start to slightly tremble, their eyes will glaze over, and their jaw will drop ever closer towards the floor. They will think they have regained some sense of self-righteous composure and they will try to be cool when asking, “how can you let other people see you naked?” The correct answer, pay attention as there will be a test, is “nobody cares and if they want to look let them look. I’m going for myself and for my own relaxation. Nobody cares.” This brief back and forth usually ends up with a question about children, are you taking children, will there be children there, etc. If you have not been to Orvis Hot Springs the answer is yes. Children go to Orvis and I think it is incredibly healthy. As long as they do not yell and scream, piss in the water, and generally make my life miserable, I am happy to see them at Orvis. Their presence tells me the parents have their heads screwed on straight. You know what is even healthier and more common than you may think? Teenage children at Orvis completely naked with their siblings and parents all reaping the benefits of the mystical waters. Seeing this is like being transported to Scandinavia where the issue of being naked is a non-issue.

Where does this sense of modesty and body shame come from? My guess it comes from the fucking church, where most nonsensical bullshit is introduced, repeated, and developed into a core belief. If people want young people, especially girls, to have better body images, do not teach body shame from a young age. Allow them to be comfortable with their own bodies and do not treat something as natural and normal as being naked as something shameful and something to be avoided. As with most things, especially the use of some words (fuck, shit, twat, goddamn, bastard, bitch, pussy) it is all about context and appropriateness. The real lesson to be learned is when to be naked, how to embrace being naked, and knowing when to avoid being naked if it will put you or others in a dangerous situation. Come on, nobody wants to go to jail over simply being naked. Avoid being stupid, embrace the places (and there are many) where you can be naked and roll with things on a different level.

Okay everybody, drop all of your multiple layers and GET NAKED!!