104am and it starts with a distinct disturbance in the force. To my right is the head of a puppy dog who is clearly being asked to go outside. She is let out and then it begins as the dread sets in knowing that there is probably a clown in the house. The clown is crouched and lurking some where barely able to contain its laughter. This has happened before in the middle of the night and the only thing that makes the bad feeling go away is my friend Kelley Raymond singing “Eddie Spaghetti’….for some reason this makes it all better. The dog is done and we both go back to bed. 117am and the desire to fall asleep once again is almost overwhelming. It is at this very point that the thoughts start to split and each one becomes exceptionally clear like a laser. The clown theme has now changed to an analysis of the Stephen King novel “IT” and wondering if the new series will be good. The preliminary promotional photos look amazing. As this stream of thought another opens up as I begin to become very aware that Lady Gaga and Alan Turing are in the bed next to me and that think they are being discrete but they are not succeeding. Without any warning thoughts turn to the GADBERRY which I know is something that has to do with reproduction. I feel a desperate need to find them so that I can find Hermione Granger. She is the only one with which the GADBERRY will work. The quest starts as I mentally feel like I’m getting out of bed. There are now three trains of thought going at once and as each begins the others do not fade in the slightest. It is as if each are happening separately but they are going at the same time. The Harry Potter theme continues as I am now being sorted by the Sorting Hat. There seems to be a problem as the hat cannot decide to in which house I should be sorted, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. There is something clearly wrong as McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Luna Lovegood go into private conference. This craziness continues along with everything else and the speed in which things are unfolding seems to be speeding up rapidly. The fifth stream opens up in the back left corner of the brain and it involves walking through a room with a vast number of numbers written on the walls. They are scattered, sideways, and upside down. For some reason they make perfect sense and there is a sense of calm looking at the walls and walking through this room. Layered on top of this is the feeling that I’m being followed as well as moving towards somebody. There is a sense of chaos in this stream of thought that is very peaceful. The five streams of thought are now emitting different colors as if lasers were shooting out of my skull. The colors are my favorite colors…purple, green, orange, deep blues….and they are streams with movements within the stream that cannot quite be made out. It is as if each stream has a cartoon playing over and over. Let’s just hope that one of them is Scooby-Doo. During this entire episode there is tossing and turning back and forth and the sound of the dog snoring is really the only foothold in reality. The digital clock now says 222am so it is clear that time has passed. Asleep and dreaming? Or awake and freaking out? No way to really tell which. My friend who has since moved away makes an appearance in the next stream of thought that opens up. For some reason it is very clear that Heather Martin Zeilman has given birth to another great idea. Now, if you know Heather she has a lot of great ideas. But…well….in this version she has literally given forth and given actual birth to a great idea. She is carrying the idea around and has named it Alice. (My grandmother’s first name….WHAT….THE……FUCK?) Anyway, this idea somehow grows up..the actual idea itself…not Heather….to win a Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Yeah….no idea. But this stream of thought seems to play out in real time but can only have lasted minutes because by the time the Nobel is awarded it is only 251am by the digital clock. At this point everything clear as day and it is like watching eight movies at a time. A sense of unease covers things like a blanket because the desire for quiet and dark sleep is profound. The next one opens up without warning and I am now sitting at a rainbow colored picnic table on the shores of a vast lake with two of my most favorite male humans Eric Krch and Garry Baker. Behind Eric and Garry is a large bookcase filled to capacity with some of my favorite books. The titles are not visible but I know they are there. The entire bookcase is held on a dolly and next to the dolly are two Oompah Loompahs from Willy Wonka. I guess they wheel the case around wherever I go. More than a little disturbing but I appreciate their assistance. Two more streams open up at the same time. One comes from just above my left eye and is the movie Young Frankenstein playing at 2x speed. The other one is the movie Closer playing at 1/2x speed. This second movie opens in a stream just above my right ear. The laser colored lights are hitting the walls and things just play out. 512am and things calm down. It is at this point that I feel like I could actually fall asleep normally and get some rest. But at this point I know people are actually up and doing things with their lives. I lay there fully awake and wait to get out of bed and start the day.