Some people use Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends. For what reasons I will never understand. That’s not how I use it….but that is a different subject. You are scanning through your newsfeed and there is the inevitable picture of someone you don’t know and that you are glad you don’t know. The person looks like they were beaten to within an inch of their life with someone else’s pancreas. Squinty dead eyes perched on top of a piggy poo nose perched on top of lips that were never designed for lipstick. After you have recovered from the shock you see the first comment. “Oh Linda, that is a beautiful picture of you! Luv U!” What in the holy hell? Did this person see the same photo? It cannot be possible. Were they being honest as they typed the comment? I mean come on people, why the need to be so fake and superficial? Everybody on the planet can clearly see that the photo of Linda should be kept far away from polite society; preferably locked away in a government vault deep…DEEP underground. As soon as you have almost recovered from the photo of Linda somebody else has posted a photo of yet another grandchild who lives in Ohio somewhere. The kid, probably named Brandon, looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Unfortunate looking does not even begin to describe that is small haphazard looking human. Of course, there is the first comment, “What a handsome boy he is! Isn’t being a grandma fabulous?!?” How can it be when your spawn produced that spawn? Just keep that thing at least four states away and everything should be fine.

When somebody says, “there was nothing behind her eyes” do you know what they are talking about? There are two people floating around my newsfeed who posts photos of themselves all the time. I look at their eyes and there is absolutely nothing there. No life, no spark, no vitality, and definitely no clue. They are definitely not intelligent eyes and they say nothing. They are blank and sad and just a bit spooky. They do not inspire confidence or scream “I am wise!” or anything else that would make you want to be left alone in a mountain cabin with this person.

I think there needs to be more honesty when posting about photographs on Facebook. “Hi Linda, sorry sweetie, but you look like a bag full of blisters.” “Jesus Lord and Hallelujah Donna, keep that spooky fuck of a kid away from me! Why on earth would you choose that photo to post? Have you no shame?”

That is all.