The equation involves the use and manipulation of four variables. The result is never the same yet still takes on a similar pattern. The first variable on the table is the demographic women in their 30’s and 40’s. The second variable is love (blissful sigh). The third variable is geographic and that is a small town. The fourth and final variable is the concept of getting the word out there in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Picture this. A small town in the western part of a state that offers pass through services to those traveling to better destinations. There is a whiff of desperation in the air that can be pinpointed. Those passing through will simply have an uneasy feeling, which will soon pass as they move out of the city boundaries. For those that are in this town on a daily basis the uneasy feeling is identified. It is the smell produced by women in their 30’s and 40’s who are desperately seeking a relationship, have suddenly found themselves in a relationship, or are crashing down from yet another failed attempt at blissful blissful sweet love. Most have a divorce or preferably two behind them and they are very much seeking the next even they would never admit this fact.

The variables are now combined and have been crunched various ways. The public output are the posts seen on social media from people in your past. Out of nowhere there is a photo of X at a sporting event standing next to dude #32. The female in the pair is smiling as if she just won the lottery. The guy next to her, in the obligatory baseball hat featuring a snowmobile manufacturer, has an odd grin on his face and looks like a monkey doing algebra. A look of “oh fuck, what now” comes from his eyes and you know damn well what is on his mind. He is thinking how many times he can get laid without having to commit to ANYTHING. He knows it, his friends know it, and the American people know it. Female Y is thinking, “Yes, this is the one! This is finally the sweet man I will spend the rest of my life with!” Uh, no he’s not and you know that deep down. It would benefit her greatly if she was simply thinking what the guy is thinking….getting laid. But no, visions of flowers, dresses, joint checking accounts, and a wedding notebook bounce through her nightly dreams. Photos on social media will often have one of two sentences attached: “watching the final four with my babe!” or even “first time in Vegas with my honey!” BABE and HONEY after only 60 hours. Yeah, this will last. Ugh…it never fails.

This happens in bigger towns as well but the sense of desperation seems to be thicker and fetid in smaller towns. It must have something to do with the population pool from which these choices are being made. One thing you won’t see is anybody seeking somebody from outside a 100-mile radius. After all, somebody from the “big city” might not share the same values and have an unending love for the surrounding scenery. Nothing says eternal romantic bliss like 272 straight trips down the road to the local meadow where the views are just spectacular. Go to the fucking city people, it will serve you well!

When all of these variables are combines it creates a great ruckus and somehow everybody knows what is going on with this person. This is by plan because simply being in a relationship, planning a wedding, or trying the new man on for size is not enough. Everybody must be aware of your fleeting bliss or it does not count. On the phone talking to your new love? Be sure to speak at the top of your lungs so everybody knows. Just met a new guy at the tractor pull or at the classic rock cover band concert? Get that stuff on social media, first in very cryptic ways, and then BAM, surprise everybody with a picture of yourself and Matt, Steve, Dave, Paul the newfound troglodyte with 3 past marriages, two kids, and recently obtained GED certificate. Why is he so beloved? “He works hard and is a great daddy!” Yeah, doubt it.

There are worse things in life than divorce and it is often a great decision. Nobody is faulting anybody who has been divorced. It just seems odd that so many think that the 2^nd, 3^rd, or 4^th attempt will have a different outcome than the prior attempts. One common denominator here is that one of our variables simply cannot stand to be alone and cannot stand their own company. Another human must be in their lives that will validate their very existence. As their President says, SAD!

The strongest relationships are those you never hear anything about.